Includes bibliographical references.

Childhood in white : What wasn't said ; Family values ; Race versus class ; Optimism ; Within the walls -- Midlife wake-up calls : From confusion to shock ; The GI Bill ; Racial categories ; White superiority ; The melting pot ; Headwinds and tailwinds -- Why didn't I wake up sooner? : Icebergs ; Invisibility ; Zap! ; The whole story ; Logos and stereotypes -- Rethinking key concepts : My good people ; Color-blind ; My good luck ; My Robin Hood syndrome -- Twenty-five years of tossing and turning : Straddling two worlds ; Why do I always end up with white people? ; Diversity training ; Everyone is different; everyone belongs ; Belonging ; Surviving versus thriving ; Living into expectations ; I am the elephant -- Leaving my comfort zone : Intent and impact ; Feelings and the culture of niceness ; Courageous conversations ; Getting over myself ; Perception and fear -- Inner work : Becoming multicultural ; If only you'd be more like me ; The dominant white culture ; Boxes and ladders ; The rugged individual ; Equality starts with equity ; Bull in a China shop -- Outer work : From bystander to ally ; Solidarity and accountability ; From tolerance to engagement ; Listening ; Normalizing race talk -- Reclaiming my humanity : Whole again -- Tell me what to do!